How To Give A Cat A Pill

Try this-- How To Give A Cat A Pill If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill you know how difficult it is. The following instructions are fool proof! 1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden. 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later. 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw. 9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. 10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band. 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot. throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. 12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap. 13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed} by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down. 14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order a new table. 15. Arrange for vet to make house call. brought to you by mamarocks.com boogies sentiments inspirational funnies click here to subscribe to the mamarocks mailing list

Late Lunch In Lake Lure

Yesterday Johnny and I went to Lake Lure (where Dirty Dancing was filmed) and ate at Genny's Family Restaurant. It was so cold with a terrific wind but as most of you know J has had a massive stroke in 2005 and broke his hip in last Oct. He will be having a fusion in his hip very soon. He wanted so much to get out of the house.Here is a video of the area we visited but stayed in the car mostly.

Week-End

Off to 8 hrs. of clinical today but wishing you a great week-end. Remember Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you take it!
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A Quiz--How Do You Compare?

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Your Life is Better Than 33% of All People

Your life can be a bummer at times, but you're on the right track. You may need new friends, a new place to live in, or a new job... But most of all, you need a new outlook. You are your own worst enemy. Start being thankful for what you have - and start working for what you don't.

How Does Your Life Compare?

Hot Mama

Dirty Old Men, LOL Hot Mama-- A 87 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later, when the old man had an appointment with the doctor again, the doctor said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said doctor, "Get a hot mama and be cheerful." The doctor said, "I didn't say that!... I said you have got a heart murmur. Be careful!" Brought to you by mamarocks.com Home Sentiments Funnies Inspirational Click Here To Sign Up For The FREE mamarocks.com Mailing List

You Are Special

cool You Are Special Did anyone ever tell you Just how special that you are The light that you emit Might even light a star. Did anyone ever tell you How important you make others feel Well, someone out here is smiling About a friendship that is real! Did anyone ever tell you How many times when they were sad Your email made them smile a bit In fact...it made them glad. Did anyone ever tell you Just how much that they love you Well, my dearest online friend Today...I'm telling you! brought to you by mamarocks.com boogies sentiments funnies inspirational click here to join the mamarocks.com mailing list

Burnin' Up the Kitchen

Got up this cloudy morning and cooked and we ate breakfast. 30 minutes later while surfing the internet my eyes got to burning and tears pouring down when I looked up with the frying pan on fire. The damn smoke detector (w/new batteries) didn't even go off. Had to open windows and turn on ventilation fans thru out the house. Johnny slept thru the entire smoky deal and Mattie my golden retriever didn't seem too upset either. Lot of help they were but everything is fine now, thank goodness.

Heart

Lovely=The Size Of Your Heart It isn't the size of your house as such, That matters so much at all; It's the gentle hand and its loving touch, That make it great or small. The friends who come and the hour they go, Who out of your house depart; Will judge it not by the style you show, But rather ... by the size of your heart. It isn't the size of your head so much, It isn't the wealth you found; What will make you happy is how you touch, The other lives that are all around. For making money is not hard, To live life well is an art: How people love you and how they regard ... Is all in the size of your heart. (author unknown) brought to you by mamarocks.com boogies sentiments funnies inspirational click here to subscribe to the mamarocks mailing list

My Valentine Ladies

Just playing around but it is a woman's sort of day to do whatever she wants.

California Kid

This Kid is an old buddy of mine from back in "the day". I guarantee u that if I needed him he would be on the first plane to help me out. He sent me some nice pics. for Valentine's Day--got the rest in a photo album on my site under 'view all" to get in to them. I toook him and 2 other kids and gave them a home early 2000's. Out of the three this one is the only one who still calls me and tells me how much he appreciated what I did for him and that he loves me like a Mother. Cool

Have A Great Day

be happy
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Another Test -Only Harder

Man, this test I studied for for weeks--the circulatory,digestive,integumentary, musculoskeletal,endocrine, nervous,respiratory,reproductive etc. No damn questions about this at all-just tricky bullshit questions--made a 85 but went into the class thinking a 90 or better--it's Ok though --I PASSED . I missed 3 and one of them was cleaning an uncircumisized penis what to do? Hell, I've never seen one so even though the other girls said we went over that --evidently my mind was somewhere else. The answer was if U retract the foreskin PUT it back like it was, I think. Can't U believe such shit? Am not trying to be risque or anything but sometimes this nursing is more than I can stomach. However, I am not a quitter. Was very tired and only wanted to go to bed, but the more I thought of this test the wider awake I got --and not for the reasons ya might think--LOL

Have You Ever Wondered?

Cool Have You Ever Wondered... Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes????? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Click here to send this to your friends! www.positivethoughts.com

Manic Monday

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CLICK HERE!e It's Going Fine For Ya!

Toenail Clippers and Prescriptions Bottles

I awoke early as usual and came groggily into the kitchen last Wed. morning. Through my sleep filled eyes I saw my largest butcher knife, scissors, and three pair of toenail clippers on my counter. Thinking to myself "is this some kind of a hint that Johnny is sending to me to cut his toenails?" Upon further observation I also saw two prescription bottles (one on oxy. and one of xanax) Picking them up for a closer look I could see a small hole bored into the bottles. Then it clicked like an epiphany--Johnny couldn't get the childproof caps off so he became a midnight magician and bore a hole into the sides of the bottles to get extra pills. The pills are now locked in a metal box and hidden.

Children

kids To everyone who already knows that children are special ~ LOOK OUT FOR THE LAST STORY....IT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF!! Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was: A four-year-old child, whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the Little boy just said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry." Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different hair color than the other members. One of her students suggested that he was adopted. A little girl said, "I know all about adoption, I was adopted.." "What does it mean to be adopted?", asked another child "It means", said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!" On my way home one day, I stopped to watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile. "Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged." "Discouraged?", the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face... "Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet." Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think About little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. "Guess what, Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me....."I've been chosen to clap and cheer." An eye witness account from New York City , on a cold day in December, some years ago: A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the young boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!" "I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,"was the boy's reply. The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel. By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable now." As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her. "Are you God's wife?" Hope this put a smile on your face it sure did mine. Click Here to Send This to your Friends! Send a Personalized Ecard / Myspace Comments